The backpacker

Bea Alonzo. *singhot*

I cannot believe, once again, I am moving to another room. But this time in a hotel room (Hi, Hotel Duta!). Since my stay here in Indonesia I’ve been staying in different rooms, houses, etc. Mahirap din na walang permanenteng paglagyan ng gamit ah, I am a lousy packer. Kaya kapag nakita niyo ang aking luggage at midnight bags, gulo-patola yun sigurado.

Unang stop ko ay ang Ciputra Hotel sa Jakarta, we stayed there for a night only, and I remembered the yellow water of the faucet. Too much chlorine? Aw. At first, I thought it will take time to turn itself to the ‘normal’ water color in the Philippines which is crystal clear (teka, kulay ba ang crystal clear?), but alas, no changes happened. Dilaw talaga ang lokong tubig. Ano pa ba ang choice ko, eh ganun talaga eh, kesa naman di maligo.

Then we have a staff house in Bandar Jaya (a.k.a. frat house) where I slept in three different rooms. Astig noh?! Tapos, nalaman namin that since the wastewater treatment and biogas plant where I am an ehem ‘alalay’ process engineer is near to Kotabumi, we have to move to the Medco house.

Yesterday, we are informed that three new commissioning engineers will also stay in Medco house, without further ado, once again, I packed my bags and say hello to Hotel Duta. My hotel room is painted yellow, I love the bathroom though it has no bath tub. Unfortunately, no cable on tv and no Wi-Fi. Tae, walang magawa, yun ang bottomline.

Kaya kahit hindi movie buff, nanood na lang ako ng ‘One More Chance.’ Oo, ni Bea at John Lloyd! I got it from Kuya Don, my ‘bossing’ in Ketapang, hehe. Nakakakilabot ang mga pangyayari sa palabas na ito, I enjoyed laughing. Harhar.

Tonight, I am thinking of plans kung ano pa ang mga possible na gawin. Take note, the hotel has no bar or a drinking joint. Kasi most people here are Muslims they are not allowed to drink booze unless it’s sort of medication for them. No cute guys, therefore, no room for little flirting. At ang masaklap sa lahat may optical mouse of God-knows-when ay nasira, so paano na ako gagawa ng mga designs ko?! Mahirap naman yun touchpad lang ng laptop ang gamitin. Tae.

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This morning, Mark called and I told him how I needed lotsa lotsa money. Siempre, I started emailing friends if they needed my service as a graphics artist or err their ehem err model? Tigas mukha na lang, I need money bigtime! Malamang, iisipin ng mga sinabihan ko na joke lang yun. Remember, jokes are half-meant. Harhar. But I’d rather be the graphics/layout designer.

I am afraid, others might think that I’ve got lots of money since I worked abroad. Unfortunately, I am still probationary in this job, therefore I am entitled to a ‘Manila-rate’ salary. So sir ray, asyong, paulita, peejay, ja, rj at grace, mas mayayaman pa kayo sa akin. Milya milya pa ang hahabulin ko para marating ang estado ninyo.

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Plans for tonight.

1. Eat.
2. Take a shower.
3. Change clothes.
4. Sleep.

Tae, napaka-promising ng mga plano ko.

I am the master of nothing… yebah!

Yep, I am shouting to the whole wide world err web, na ang dami kong alam na gawin. That’s it, alam lang at hindi magaling. Sometimes I am start questioning myself kung ano ba talaga ang kakayahan ko at saan ba talaga ako mag-e-excel. When I was in elementary, they knew that I have golden hands, I can paint, I can draw really well, etc. Kasi naman wala naman talaga sa mga classmates ko na okay mag-draw, so nangingibabaw talaga ang kaartehan ko.

So there goes highschool, more competitors, more magaling than I am in drawing and everything. Then I bumped into photography, never thought that I can point and shoot. Yebah! Pero, nakaka-stress pala kaya shift gear na ulit ako hanggang makapag-graphics at lay-out design sa college. P*nyeta, arts talaga ang ‘forte’ ko kuno. So bakit ako process engineer ngayon at may degree ng chemical engineering? I don’t know either.

Maybe because it’s my secret agenda to be labeled as one of those academically-inclined artists that are taking competitive programs like engineering; Honestly, I just don’t want to be remembered as the chinita girl with pink lips or should I say with weird hand exercises (gee, you should meet me so I can show you my uber pinagmamalaking talent). Alam mo yun, medyo may yabang kaunti na magaling na sa arts, ok pa ang course.

Tae, thinking time ulit kung ano ba talaga ang trip kong career path. Siempre, may mga secret dreams pa rin ako, na gusto ko sanang i-mention kaso kakahiya eh. Harhar. So, next time na lang at naumpog ang ulo at isulat ko. Pero lately, the more I reflect about my inclination to arts, the people I meet, the new things I am learning, nalaman ko that I cannot be labeled as a ‘good’ artist, still one of those malditang babae and every-now-and-then the neurotic/paranoid/weirdong anna. Langya talaga.

I can be better. SIguro kapag 40 years old na ako. Anyway, I can cook nga pala. Kuya Brian and Kuya Eric nagtae when I cooked beef with oyster sauce. Ako na naman?! Medyo nadala na ako magluto kasi nga napapraning ako na baka may magtae na naman. Then all fingers will be pointing at me. *singhot*

Iniisip ko master ko lang matulog kahit saan at any given time. Hindi ko alam kung talent iyon, o epekto ng pagiging lousy ko. Others think I am boring pero weirdo lang daw ayon sa mga nakakakilala. My tastes are peculiar, out-of-the-ordinary and beyond normal. Shocks, seems like a baliw definition for me.

Ang motto ko ngayon, ‘wala na akong pakialam sa sasabihin ng iba, eh ano kung praning?! Kayo ba nagpapakain sa akin?!’ The more I keep on repeating that pambansang cliché, I am starting to feel good and Paolo Nutini’s Loving you instantly popped-up on my ears. Yebah!

Moving-on

Officially, this is my fourth blog. I drowned the sirena on our kitchen sink. Kasi naman, may dyesebel na kaya nagbago na rin ako ng image. Kidding aside, I just want to grow-up; to make changes of my routine. It is not that I got tired to be called the sirena, I just felt I needed another ‘home.’ And I guess, I found it here in distant colors. It defines kung ano ako ngayon at kung nasaan ako.

I miss everything na meron lang ako last year, then para lang roller coaster na nagbago ang lahat. I am now working and wala nang halos alam sa mundo ng graphics at lay-out design. I think inborn na sa akin ang pagiging artist kaso mukhang may expiration date ang mga talents ko.

I feel lonely now, malayo sa pamilya at nakagisnang buhay. Siyempre, medyo may pagka-independent ang drama ko ngayon, thank you na lang din at okay ang mga kasamahan ko sa work. I am coping each day on everything that I am learning to dealing with everybody.

Okay na rin dahil lagi naman akong nasasabihan that I badly needed to grow-up. May midlife crisis ba na para sa mga early 20s na tulad ko, kung may ganun, probably I am experiencing it. Life here in Indonesia is sort of freaky for me. Wala kayang mga coffee shops, malls na madaling puntahan but really I can deal with it pero yun mapalayo sa mga tropa, pamilya that is the worst feeling I am having right now.

Sometimes, I start to question myself if working abroad is really what I wanted. I am dreaming of travelling pero nakakawindang pala if you stayed too much sa isang lugar na alien ka. Maybe I am feeling this right now kasi things happened too soon. But I am blessed with all the opportunities that are coming. Amen!

So far, marami akong natutunan nung mag start ako as process engineer, at least nakikita ko na yun mga nababasa ko lang dati sa Perry’s HB. Career-wise, I think I can grow with this job, pero if other things considered like financially, hindi siguro masyado. I am looking forward to go home, kasi hindi na ako mukhang si ‘anna,’ siempre kailangan mag-recharge sa ‘pinas para good to go ulit for the next assignment sa trabaho.

Hopefully, internet connection will be fine here para lagi akong makakapag-update. Mark thinks my attitude now is much much better compared before, nonetheless, I miss the maldita in me. X0x0